Going Overboard (and Getting Burnout) in the Name of Financial Independence

If you spend enough time on the Bogleheads forums, the Mr. Money Mustache forums, or at Reddit’s Financial Independence (FI) community, you’re going to find folks of a certain character. The main crowd includes some high-earners and entrepreneurs eagerly echoing the excellence of index funds or their FIRE goal progress. You’ll also find folks with average, five-figure salaries pop in from time to time about how they can still make FIRE possible. But today I’m talking about the subsection of folks who, while perhaps not as flashy, maintain a consistent presence on the financial independence/retiring early interwebs. These people? The ones who are going way overboard on the way to financial independence.

Please Don’t Emulate Their Tactics

They don’t often get the spotlight on their extreme behaviors. That harsh attention is usually reserved for the opposite extremities of the soul-sucking over-consumer (also known as the Drive Thru Clown or Sukka Consumer). This is an extreme accepted as normal in America these days, to the point it’s near impossible for them to find stable financial footing. With over-consumerism being the norm – combined with our Puritan inheritance enshrining hard work – it’s hard to have the energy left over for those on the other side of the spectrum.

And hoo boy, is that also wild. They manage to escape much scrutiny (beyond telling them “get therapy”) since, hey, they’ve got the right spirit and have their financial priorities straight, right? They’re just being frugal! They’re hard working!! What’s the harm if it’s their life?

Like… okay, as long we’re following the law there’s really nothing to stop us from exercising our free will. My point isn’t about free will; it’s about drawing the line between frugality and what is just off-the-wall irrational. Getting secondhand furniture? That’s reasonable and frugal. Limiting your drinks when going out? Also frugal.

Wearing shoes that are literally falling apart? That’s where I’ll draw the line, I think.

Eating lentils “90% of the time” for any reason other than you’re too broke for alternatives? That’s over the line in the sand.

Moving your pregnant wife into a dog shit-ridden foreclosed house when she’s on required bed rest, because you always dreamed of financial independence? UNHhhh………….

Please, y’all, choose better for yourself.

All Work Makes Jack Dull and Soulless

That’s just the budget side of things; the income side is just as fraught. In fact, as horrible as the extreme “budgeting” can be, the extreme income side can be especially heinous. Specifically, the side where folks without a diverse moneymaking skillset (or maybe just bad at marketing themselves?) attempt to reach high pay by sacrificing as many hours as possible working. They cut down on sleep to side hustle. They’re constantly rushing between their regular job and their DoorDash/Uber/Fiverr/Instacart gigs. Their loved ones have forgotten what they look like, or, at least, what they looked like without bags under their eyes.

To be clear, I’m no saint in this regard. At one point I was so afraid of spending money I turned into the ultimate cheapskate, making Lentils Man and Foreclosure Husband look like phat kats making it rain. I once spent months eating only free pizza and wings! My college apartment had a mouse infestation and no heat, but I sucked it up because it was cheap! I only bring these up now to show I know what going overboard looks like on an uncomfortably (cringy) personal level.

And, to my horror, I’m seeing my brother Gio start to go overboard as well.

Not Gio!!

Now, Gio’s a smart kid. “Gio” isn’t his real name, either – he asked why I chose my pseudonym Darcy (after Mr. Darcy in Pride & Prejudice) and modeled his name off of Mr. Darcy’s younger sibling, Georgianna. Going by the obvious choice of “George” was too bland for him, so he spiced it up with the more suave “Giovanni”. And Gio does have enough charm to warrant the name, I guess. He squeezed dates with multiple people into a weeklong trip to Los Angeles, despite never setting foot there before a day in his life. He’s convinced an obsessively Christian family friend he is the ideal Catholic boy, despite being very, very gay. Out of four siblings, none of us come anywhere close to his title of being “The Coolest Sibling” (which I will admit… gracelessly). He even listens to me about this finance crap and puts it into action!

But none of this will save him from himself. Our conversations inevitably follow the same script every time I get him on FaceTime:

DARCY: Hey Gio!
GIO: Hey!
DARCY: How are you?
GIO: Good. [pause] I’m so tired.

Why does he say that? Because he’s been trying to make as much money as he can before matriculating into college. His schedule revolved around essentially nothing else except his shifts at

1. a candy store,
2. working at Wendy’s,
3. frying all the things on a food truck, and
4. helping a local farmer sort his corn (more involved than you’d think).

At one point this hellish schedule left him roughly four hours a night for sleep. It also left him zero time to see his friends before they all headed off to their own college paths. Now that he’s moving in to his college dorm, that time is gone forever.

I understand why he felt the need to work so much. But I don’t believe he made the right choice.

The Overboard Psychology

Like me, he grew up with a scarcity mindset and the belief money can be magically tricked away from you. Unlike me he grew up with Instagram/other influencers normalizing frequent travel and the luxe life. While I’ve got him on the path of basic investing, dude’s also focused on giving himself what it seems everyone of worth has and is planning on a trip to LA for his birthday later this year. He’s already bought the plane tickets and is figuring out his hotel accommodations (airBnb is out… I know because I suggested it and he shot it down). He tells me he’ll catch up on sleep once he goes off to college, which I somehow don’t believe in the slightest.

It’s hard to see this BS when I know this is a shitty approach. Beyond telling him (in a nice, loving-older-sister way) how stupid it was, there isn’t much I can do to dissuade him. Who doesn’t love a hardworking fella, amirite? There’s endless reasons to love him for working so hard when you’re not concerned with pesky crap like “burnout”.

During my senior year of college I hit burnout really hard exactly because I went way overboard on accumulating/saving money. At the time I didn’t understand how to keep my money secure, let alone make my money work for me. It led to a scarcity spiral that told me “You NEED to hold onto everything you possibly can. Everyone’s trying to take money away from you. Tell no one you have the little amount you do because it’s going to lead to everything terrible in the world.” While the “everyone’s trying to take money from you” is true to an extent, it really doesn’t call for that foaming-at-the-mouth type of rabid defense.

The “Why” Behind Going Overboard

There are countless millionaire articles out there repeating the same mantra for how they got so rich. They inevitably involve some variation of “I worked harder than everyone else,” which can lead folks to believe they, too, just need to work harder than their peers to reach this fabled status. It’s a tempting prospect when you’re gazing at the splashy photos of said millionaire’s cars/designer home/incredibly fancy clothes. I mean, why not sacrifice a few years to drudgery and suffering if you can get that at the end?

But sheer ambition and determination often aren’t the only drivers to driving yourself overboard to exhaustion in the name of financial independence. In my case it’s driven by hope, yes, but it was sparked by pitch-black fear. Fear I couldn’t actually be self-sufficient; terror I’d have to return to a toxic home with zero support and violence common in the house. Compared to that (or worse) I totally get why some would choose to overwork themselves instead.

Financial anxiety and insecurity is another huge factor. These are fueled by a lack of financial education and resources; many a newbie to the financial independence game becomes utterly lost, leading to going overboard via overcorrection. Add to the mix the feeling you have to “catch up” with the Joneses and you’ve got a nice potion of You Need a Lifejacket ahead.

Signs you’re going overboard

If you need to ask yourself whether you’re going overboard on the path to financial independence, there’s a few questions you should have an answer to:

Is this affecting your health?

I’m talking physical, mental, and emotional here. Is your sleep schedule FUBAR, wreaking havoc on your body? Are you getting in enough exercise? Good energy levels? What about your stress levels? Are they higher than they were before you started on this journey? Or less? Are you eating unhealthy food or have unhealthy eating habits tO sAvE mOnEy? Because if your diet is less diverse than the Fortune 500 CEOs you’re undermining yourself severely.

Don’t just dismiss anything negative you feel, either. Emotions are feedback about your environment, not something to ignore or repress when they’re not reporting unicorns and rainbows. If you’re not gradually feeling more relaxed and secure on your climb to wealth, something is wrong and in dire need of fixing. Pursuing financial independence is a worthy endeavor – one you need to pursue sustainably and NOT go overboard on.

Have you thought through your reasons for pursuing FI?

The entire FIRE movement remains a pretty fringe lifestyle thing. That’s because it takes several years for your choices to bear fruit, assuming you’re consistent with it. You can only maintain the momentum if you’re NOT coming from a place of fear or anxiety. Otherwise, that fear response can get very persuasive at making you live in a subpar living situation and terrified of spending a dime on anything. Ask me how I know.

Does this negatively affect your relationships in any way at all?

This is the most obvious signs you’re going too far: your relationships with loved ones suffer. This isn’t about social circles who weren’t really your friends in the first place; I mean significant others, relatives, close friends. You no longer have free time to spend leisurely or socializing because it’s spent grinding away. You miss important events, or miss being there when your friends need a shoulder to lean or cry on. Your loved ones should know they are loved. Prioritizing some narrow goal at all costs, including your care for them, is going to take its toll.

This can be the most devastating consequence of going overboard. You really do not want to end up independently wealthy and completely alone.

Ways to reverse going overboard

These are the sustainable ways to financial independence I’ve found without risking falling overboard; once Gio takes a breather from his new college life these are the points I’ll work with him to hit.

Accelerated career progression has been, by far, the most impactful to stop feeling the need to go overboard. Instead of feeling stressed or worried about, say, a bigger grocery budget, you can note how much of your salary you’re fine with spending on food. With inflation taking place I’ll have to up my grocery spending to maybe $200 a month (what!) which would have been significant if I still made $30k. At $93k nowadays, that $200/month is only 2.5% of my pay. Fuck it, more choices it is! (And I have a series on making that job progress!)

Healthy dreams – and discovering what makes you happy – are A HUGE DEAL to stop you from going overboard. Dreaming forces you to envision your ideal future; in that future, are you exhausted most days or dealing with something chronic? No? Then pumping stress into your veins isn’t the way to reach that beautiful self, love.

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting and logos research complete this trifecta of sustainable, no-going-overboard climb to wealth. Your goals are intertwined with your dreams and, to best reach those heights, you need to refine what those goals are and follow that acronym. Logos research is a fancy way of saying “Read up on this and don’t let your fear/anger/frustration get involved just yet”. Approach this ish with an open mind and willingness to learn/pivot as needed.

It’s easy to go overboard with something you’re passionate about. Like anything else in life, though, there needs to be balance. Find yours on the climb to wealth and you’ll find it’s a much more peaceful path to take for the years ahead.

Cover image credit: Jakob Owens via Unsplash