You Want to be Thrifty, NOT Cheap
In high school, my freshman English teacher had some choice words about being thrifty vs being cheap. She said “cheap” evokes an image of Ebenezer Scrooge. He’d grin with decaying teeth, greedily rubbing two gold coins together on a cold night with only rags to wear. “Thrifty,” according to her, evokes an image of a very attractive individual reclining on the deck of the yacht they could afford due to savvy money decisions, which did NOT involve wasting money.
I still remember that over a decade later because it shows the ideal versus the extreme when it comes to lowering your expenses. Thrifty people here are the ideal, who know they can get things for less while still getting value out of it. Cheap people, on the other hand, do not care about value, only about saving money. Cheap people do not understand that value is what makes saving money good in the first place. Cheap people might be gleeful about fleecing a store, but they aren’t the ones jetting to Europe whenever they please like their thrifty peers are.
Ramit Sethi backs me up on this. If you read his book on the topic (which is one of TWO finance books to have made NYT’s bestseller list) he takes the time to explain the differences between both by roasting the cheapos. Trust me, you do NOT want to be cheap.
The Siren Song for Cheapskates
It can be hard, however, not to go down that path. You might have created your budget, realized you could save so much more, and decided to go whole-hog on not spending a dime unless your life depends on it.
Don’t do that.
Your budget tells you what you can spend without compromising your income or your goals. It ALSO gives you permission to spend the money you’ve allocated. You will never worry if you’re okay with spending on X because you know you can.
Take it from me, who is actually a reformed cheap person. I will share exactly one instance of my former cheapness to keep the cringe to a minimum: during my freshman year of college I went to a restaurant with two of my friends. When it came time to tip the waiter I put in $3 instead of the agreed-upon $5, because I was a cheap person who valued money more than good relationships. When my friends discovered this and looked to me in confusion, I panicked and also pretended to be confused – “Why are we two dollars short? How could this have happened??”
Cringe, cringe, cringe. To this day I don’t know why they still talked to me after that. This was literally Ramit’s textbook example of a jackass friend! IT WAS TWO DOLLARS! Cheapness signifies a lot of other bad behaviors, including malicious selfishness and disregard for the people around you. It’s a bad thing to be, and I was a moron for not understanding this sooner.
To Be Cheap is to Be Afraid
There really is no cheap vs. thrifty debate when it comes down to the facts. Being cheap comes from a place of fear instead of power. The cheap person doesn’t understand money and, therefore, fears its mysterious power over the wills of men. The thrifty person, which I had to put in effort to become, understands money. The thrifty person controls their money instead of the other way around, and can therefore use it accordingly.
If you’re wondering whether or not you’ve been acting cheap, ask yourself: does your low level of spending directly affect those around you? If so, you’re probably cheap and need to improve yourself. Spend money on your obligations and priorities as a start. The rest isn’t necessary and, therefore, avoidable, which will help scratch the itch of whatever compels you to act this way. With your budget in hand you can give yourself permission to spend more on what matters, like durable clothes or a drink out with friends. Feeling comfortable, and feeling the love from your friendships, is worth so much more than the number of dollars saved.
After all, everyone would rather be on that yacht than watch Scrooge with his coins. Can’t argue with that.
